Dear Dr. Phil,
I have a problem. I know in my heart that I am obsessed with eating glue. I don't just eat Elmer's glue, no sir I go all out. I eat gorilla glue, bear glue, zebra glue, super glue, extra-super glue, tacky glue, hot glue guns, glue sticks, but not paste. Is there any hope for me!
@gluelady
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
There is no hope for you at all. You are a disgrace to society. What will your children think? If you don't stop now the chemicals from all that glue will get into your body so bad that it will deteriorate you intestines. Is that what you want for yourself? Do you want to be on the street corner with a card board sign saying, "Family in need, support my glue addiction." Ma'am that is what this is, this is an addiction. You need to go to rehab to get yourself fixed, and it's not just for you, it's for your family as well. Take control of you life.
Dr. Phil,
You do not understand, you say you do, but you don't. I need glue. I want glue. But sir, I am not addicted to glue, thank you very much. You call yourself an expert so why am I addicted to glue? And I don't even have kids. I just eat glue because when I was in school I got hungry, that's it! Now I have plenty of food from Wal-Mart, why do I still eat glue?
@gluelady.
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
You see Mrs. Glue, that is never an acceptable outlet for the real problems you have! This glue phase does not fool me. Your glue eating habit is just a cover up for all the pain you truly feel inside! You eat glue because you find yourself in a sticky situation. Your problems are sticky your life is sticky, your tears are sticky so you eat something sticky and it's just not right. You need to do something about this before it's too late. Stop eating glue.
-The expert
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Dr. Phil vs. Elderly Fellow
Dr. Phil,
It has come to my attention that I somehow have a receding hair line. Some have told me that I have a bald spot in the back of my head. This statement may or may not be true because I cannot see the back of my head. I am 70 years old; back in my day I had such luscious hair especially in the 80's. I could have been my own boy band, just myself. I don't feel bald, you know you're only as young as you feel.
-the young geezer
Dr. Mr. The Young Geezer,
You sir are old. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you sir, be a man, an old man because that is what you are. You are 70, your hair is gone, it left you, and it will never come back! Too many people deal with self esteem problems. You are not ugly, you are bald. Many men experience hair loss in their late 40s to early 50s. You are 70 of course you are bald, can I emphasize that enough?
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
You do not know me! Don't hate me because I am beautiful! That is what I tell all the youngsters. I am not bald. Being bald is ugly, it is meant for only ugly people so I could not possibly be bald. My hair may be thinning out, but that means nothing. I am not bald.
-the young supermodel of a man
Dr. Mr. Geezer,
You are in denial. Being bald is a fashion statement. I am bald so how are you going to tell me, a professional, that being bald is ugly! You sir have no sense of style at all! You need to wake up and realize that this is 2013, it's a new era. You need to realize that you are not only bald, but statistically a bad drive as well. Good day to you sir!
-Dr. Phil
It has come to my attention that I somehow have a receding hair line. Some have told me that I have a bald spot in the back of my head. This statement may or may not be true because I cannot see the back of my head. I am 70 years old; back in my day I had such luscious hair especially in the 80's. I could have been my own boy band, just myself. I don't feel bald, you know you're only as young as you feel.
-the young geezer
Dr. Mr. The Young Geezer,
You sir are old. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you sir, be a man, an old man because that is what you are. You are 70, your hair is gone, it left you, and it will never come back! Too many people deal with self esteem problems. You are not ugly, you are bald. Many men experience hair loss in their late 40s to early 50s. You are 70 of course you are bald, can I emphasize that enough?
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
You do not know me! Don't hate me because I am beautiful! That is what I tell all the youngsters. I am not bald. Being bald is ugly, it is meant for only ugly people so I could not possibly be bald. My hair may be thinning out, but that means nothing. I am not bald.
-the young supermodel of a man
Dr. Mr. Geezer,
You are in denial. Being bald is a fashion statement. I am bald so how are you going to tell me, a professional, that being bald is ugly! You sir have no sense of style at all! You need to wake up and realize that this is 2013, it's a new era. You need to realize that you are not only bald, but statistically a bad drive as well. Good day to you sir!
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil vs. the concerner mother.
Dear Dr. Phil,
I am a very concerned mother. My son is 27 and he still lives at home. My main issue is that he will never leave. I want to explain to my son that he needs to move out and get a life, but I want to do it in a loving way. He has these problems where he doesn't like to talk to people, except for me. I want to help him expand his social skills in life. I know there is a solution to all of this Dr. Phil, I need an expert's perspective on how to resolve all of this. Thank you for your time Dr. Phil.
-Jack's concerned mother.
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother,
There is not a solution to this, because what you are calling a situation is not a problem. Your son is at the proper age of his life to move out. It is in the human system to grow up and move out. You can not invade this experience in his life. You need to look at all of this from his perspective. Maybe he has not moved out yet because he does not want to hurt your feelings. Mrs. Jack's mother have you ever considered the fact that it may be you who is the problem? If you are coming to me, it's because you need to take control of the situation as I have told many of my clients. You are the one socially unstable because you can't even have this conversation with your own son that you gave birth to. Ma'am it's time that you grew up.
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
Sir, I do not understand, nor appreciate being told on public internet that I am the problem. My son has been a free loader all his life. I am afraid that if I take control and kick him out that he will be homeless and stand on the street corner with a card board sign in his hand. This on going situation is always going through my head. What needs to be done to get him out of my house?
-Jack's mom
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother
You are in denial, I see it all the time when I tell my patients they are the problem. You came to me for help, and I am trying my best to give the help you need. I think you are unstable and it is unfit for Jack to even be around you. If Jack moves out, and for his sake I hope he does, it will be for his benefit, and not yours. You need help ma'am.
-Dr. Phil
I am a very concerned mother. My son is 27 and he still lives at home. My main issue is that he will never leave. I want to explain to my son that he needs to move out and get a life, but I want to do it in a loving way. He has these problems where he doesn't like to talk to people, except for me. I want to help him expand his social skills in life. I know there is a solution to all of this Dr. Phil, I need an expert's perspective on how to resolve all of this. Thank you for your time Dr. Phil.
-Jack's concerned mother.
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother,
There is not a solution to this, because what you are calling a situation is not a problem. Your son is at the proper age of his life to move out. It is in the human system to grow up and move out. You can not invade this experience in his life. You need to look at all of this from his perspective. Maybe he has not moved out yet because he does not want to hurt your feelings. Mrs. Jack's mother have you ever considered the fact that it may be you who is the problem? If you are coming to me, it's because you need to take control of the situation as I have told many of my clients. You are the one socially unstable because you can't even have this conversation with your own son that you gave birth to. Ma'am it's time that you grew up.
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
Sir, I do not understand, nor appreciate being told on public internet that I am the problem. My son has been a free loader all his life. I am afraid that if I take control and kick him out that he will be homeless and stand on the street corner with a card board sign in his hand. This on going situation is always going through my head. What needs to be done to get him out of my house?
-Jack's mom
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother
You are in denial, I see it all the time when I tell my patients they are the problem. You came to me for help, and I am trying my best to give the help you need. I think you are unstable and it is unfit for Jack to even be around you. If Jack moves out, and for his sake I hope he does, it will be for his benefit, and not yours. You need help ma'am.
-Dr. Phil
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