Dear Dr. Phil,
I have a problem. I know in my heart that I am obsessed with eating glue. I don't just eat Elmer's glue, no sir I go all out. I eat gorilla glue, bear glue, zebra glue, super glue, extra-super glue, tacky glue, hot glue guns, glue sticks, but not paste. Is there any hope for me!
@gluelady
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
There is no hope for you at all. You are a disgrace to society. What will your children think? If you don't stop now the chemicals from all that glue will get into your body so bad that it will deteriorate you intestines. Is that what you want for yourself? Do you want to be on the street corner with a card board sign saying, "Family in need, support my glue addiction." Ma'am that is what this is, this is an addiction. You need to go to rehab to get yourself fixed, and it's not just for you, it's for your family as well. Take control of you life.
Dr. Phil,
You do not understand, you say you do, but you don't. I need glue. I want glue. But sir, I am not addicted to glue, thank you very much. You call yourself an expert so why am I addicted to glue? And I don't even have kids. I just eat glue because when I was in school I got hungry, that's it! Now I have plenty of food from Wal-Mart, why do I still eat glue?
@gluelady.
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
You see Mrs. Glue, that is never an acceptable outlet for the real problems you have! This glue phase does not fool me. Your glue eating habit is just a cover up for all the pain you truly feel inside! You eat glue because you find yourself in a sticky situation. Your problems are sticky your life is sticky, your tears are sticky so you eat something sticky and it's just not right. You need to do something about this before it's too late. Stop eating glue.
-The expert
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Dr. Phil vs. Elderly Fellow
Dr. Phil,
It has come to my attention that I somehow have a receding hair line. Some have told me that I have a bald spot in the back of my head. This statement may or may not be true because I cannot see the back of my head. I am 70 years old; back in my day I had such luscious hair especially in the 80's. I could have been my own boy band, just myself. I don't feel bald, you know you're only as young as you feel.
-the young geezer
Dr. Mr. The Young Geezer,
You sir are old. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you sir, be a man, an old man because that is what you are. You are 70, your hair is gone, it left you, and it will never come back! Too many people deal with self esteem problems. You are not ugly, you are bald. Many men experience hair loss in their late 40s to early 50s. You are 70 of course you are bald, can I emphasize that enough?
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
You do not know me! Don't hate me because I am beautiful! That is what I tell all the youngsters. I am not bald. Being bald is ugly, it is meant for only ugly people so I could not possibly be bald. My hair may be thinning out, but that means nothing. I am not bald.
-the young supermodel of a man
Dr. Mr. Geezer,
You are in denial. Being bald is a fashion statement. I am bald so how are you going to tell me, a professional, that being bald is ugly! You sir have no sense of style at all! You need to wake up and realize that this is 2013, it's a new era. You need to realize that you are not only bald, but statistically a bad drive as well. Good day to you sir!
-Dr. Phil
It has come to my attention that I somehow have a receding hair line. Some have told me that I have a bald spot in the back of my head. This statement may or may not be true because I cannot see the back of my head. I am 70 years old; back in my day I had such luscious hair especially in the 80's. I could have been my own boy band, just myself. I don't feel bald, you know you're only as young as you feel.
-the young geezer
Dr. Mr. The Young Geezer,
You sir are old. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you sir, be a man, an old man because that is what you are. You are 70, your hair is gone, it left you, and it will never come back! Too many people deal with self esteem problems. You are not ugly, you are bald. Many men experience hair loss in their late 40s to early 50s. You are 70 of course you are bald, can I emphasize that enough?
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
You do not know me! Don't hate me because I am beautiful! That is what I tell all the youngsters. I am not bald. Being bald is ugly, it is meant for only ugly people so I could not possibly be bald. My hair may be thinning out, but that means nothing. I am not bald.
-the young supermodel of a man
Dr. Mr. Geezer,
You are in denial. Being bald is a fashion statement. I am bald so how are you going to tell me, a professional, that being bald is ugly! You sir have no sense of style at all! You need to wake up and realize that this is 2013, it's a new era. You need to realize that you are not only bald, but statistically a bad drive as well. Good day to you sir!
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil vs. the concerner mother.
Dear Dr. Phil,
I am a very concerned mother. My son is 27 and he still lives at home. My main issue is that he will never leave. I want to explain to my son that he needs to move out and get a life, but I want to do it in a loving way. He has these problems where he doesn't like to talk to people, except for me. I want to help him expand his social skills in life. I know there is a solution to all of this Dr. Phil, I need an expert's perspective on how to resolve all of this. Thank you for your time Dr. Phil.
-Jack's concerned mother.
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother,
There is not a solution to this, because what you are calling a situation is not a problem. Your son is at the proper age of his life to move out. It is in the human system to grow up and move out. You can not invade this experience in his life. You need to look at all of this from his perspective. Maybe he has not moved out yet because he does not want to hurt your feelings. Mrs. Jack's mother have you ever considered the fact that it may be you who is the problem? If you are coming to me, it's because you need to take control of the situation as I have told many of my clients. You are the one socially unstable because you can't even have this conversation with your own son that you gave birth to. Ma'am it's time that you grew up.
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
Sir, I do not understand, nor appreciate being told on public internet that I am the problem. My son has been a free loader all his life. I am afraid that if I take control and kick him out that he will be homeless and stand on the street corner with a card board sign in his hand. This on going situation is always going through my head. What needs to be done to get him out of my house?
-Jack's mom
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother
You are in denial, I see it all the time when I tell my patients they are the problem. You came to me for help, and I am trying my best to give the help you need. I think you are unstable and it is unfit for Jack to even be around you. If Jack moves out, and for his sake I hope he does, it will be for his benefit, and not yours. You need help ma'am.
-Dr. Phil
I am a very concerned mother. My son is 27 and he still lives at home. My main issue is that he will never leave. I want to explain to my son that he needs to move out and get a life, but I want to do it in a loving way. He has these problems where he doesn't like to talk to people, except for me. I want to help him expand his social skills in life. I know there is a solution to all of this Dr. Phil, I need an expert's perspective on how to resolve all of this. Thank you for your time Dr. Phil.
-Jack's concerned mother.
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother,
There is not a solution to this, because what you are calling a situation is not a problem. Your son is at the proper age of his life to move out. It is in the human system to grow up and move out. You can not invade this experience in his life. You need to look at all of this from his perspective. Maybe he has not moved out yet because he does not want to hurt your feelings. Mrs. Jack's mother have you ever considered the fact that it may be you who is the problem? If you are coming to me, it's because you need to take control of the situation as I have told many of my clients. You are the one socially unstable because you can't even have this conversation with your own son that you gave birth to. Ma'am it's time that you grew up.
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil,
Sir, I do not understand, nor appreciate being told on public internet that I am the problem. My son has been a free loader all his life. I am afraid that if I take control and kick him out that he will be homeless and stand on the street corner with a card board sign in his hand. This on going situation is always going through my head. What needs to be done to get him out of my house?
-Jack's mom
Dear Mrs. Jack's Mother
You are in denial, I see it all the time when I tell my patients they are the problem. You came to me for help, and I am trying my best to give the help you need. I think you are unstable and it is unfit for Jack to even be around you. If Jack moves out, and for his sake I hope he does, it will be for his benefit, and not yours. You need help ma'am.
-Dr. Phil
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Dr. Phil vs. little miss. Obsession.
Dr. Phil,
I have been told by many friends and relatives that I am obsessed with shoes. The problem is I am starting to believe them. I live in a three bedroom apartment, those three rooms are dedicated to shoes. One room is all the shoes I wore as a child. Seventy five percent of my pay checks I spend on shoes. One day I counted, and I have eighty five hundred thousand pairs of shoes. What are your thoughts?
@Littlemissobsessed
Dear Little Miss Obsessed,
You are not at all obsessed with shoes. There is nothing wrong with caring about your image. I would in fact be more concerned if you only had a few pair of shoes because that is the definition of carelessness. The only thing you are doing wrong is you have not bought a storage locker for future shoes, that is a major flaw on your part. You need to take control, look the haters in the eye, and stand up for yourself. No one can be bold for you. If you are too intimidated by those around you, the ones informing you of your so called obsession, just let the shoes do the talking.
#moreshoesthanyou
-Dr. Phil.
Dear Dr. Phil,
You don't understand Dr. Phil. I have been getting unanimous e-mail and post cards from various people that I am obsessed with shoes. My own children tell me all the time that I love shoes more than them. I deny my shoe obsession all the time, but like I said, I am beginning to believe it for myself. If I'm not obsessed, what's wrong with the rest of this world.
@Littlemissobsessed
Dear Miss Obsession,
You need to stop right there maam. You are not the problem, society is making you the problem. We live in an imperfect world where, if someone wears fancy shoes and pays for them, then they are automatically the bad guy. The problem with this world today is everyone is a critic, and most are jealous. The root of your problem is other people are jealous of the shoes, and they want to dump all their problems on you! If you care about these people at all do not give them leverage to live this kind of lifestyle any longer. Be the beautiful you, with you shoes. Confidence is a must in fashion, own it.
-Dr. Phil
I have been told by many friends and relatives that I am obsessed with shoes. The problem is I am starting to believe them. I live in a three bedroom apartment, those three rooms are dedicated to shoes. One room is all the shoes I wore as a child. Seventy five percent of my pay checks I spend on shoes. One day I counted, and I have eighty five hundred thousand pairs of shoes. What are your thoughts?
@Littlemissobsessed
Dear Little Miss Obsessed,
You are not at all obsessed with shoes. There is nothing wrong with caring about your image. I would in fact be more concerned if you only had a few pair of shoes because that is the definition of carelessness. The only thing you are doing wrong is you have not bought a storage locker for future shoes, that is a major flaw on your part. You need to take control, look the haters in the eye, and stand up for yourself. No one can be bold for you. If you are too intimidated by those around you, the ones informing you of your so called obsession, just let the shoes do the talking.
#moreshoesthanyou
-Dr. Phil.
Dear Dr. Phil,
You don't understand Dr. Phil. I have been getting unanimous e-mail and post cards from various people that I am obsessed with shoes. My own children tell me all the time that I love shoes more than them. I deny my shoe obsession all the time, but like I said, I am beginning to believe it for myself. If I'm not obsessed, what's wrong with the rest of this world.
@Littlemissobsessed
Dear Miss Obsession,
You need to stop right there maam. You are not the problem, society is making you the problem. We live in an imperfect world where, if someone wears fancy shoes and pays for them, then they are automatically the bad guy. The problem with this world today is everyone is a critic, and most are jealous. The root of your problem is other people are jealous of the shoes, and they want to dump all their problems on you! If you care about these people at all do not give them leverage to live this kind of lifestyle any longer. Be the beautiful you, with you shoes. Confidence is a must in fashion, own it.
-Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil vs. the dog owner
Dear Dr. Phil,
I know that you can help my situation as you have helped many others. My dog is very old and will die soon. I am very upset that my dog will no longer be with me because I have had Chester since he was a puppy and I got him on my tenth birthday. I need your words of encouragement.
Thanks.
-the dog owner.
Dear dog owner,
Dogs are a waste of time. You need to get a cat. If the myths are true and they are, cats have nine lives. Also, there are many positives to pets dying. You can save million of dollars by not buying dog food for your pet. Americans year after year go into debt because they care more for their dog than for themselves. It is best for everyone in this situation to just let the dog go. Sooner or later your dog will die, sooner or later you will die. Death is ironically a natural part of life. Look at this situation from and experts point of view.
-your friend, Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil
As I said before I watched Chester grow up. I understand poor Chester will die soon, but I need closure for my beloved best friend. I'll never let go of him! Never! Dr. Phil can you help me. I am in mental and emotional agony from the soon loss of my best friend, Chester. I can't even sleep without him. I need some inspiration. I need something to take my mind off of things. Should I get a new dog to fill the void in my heart. Help me Dr. Phil.
Dear Mr. Dog Owner,
You need to take control of the situation and put the animal down now. You clearly have too much of a mental and emotional attachment that the attachment has even become physical now. If your dog is your best friend, that should be a red flag in your life. You are not a dog you are a human being, and you need real friends that talk and can interact with you. From and experts stand point you need to get rid of pets all together and anything that reminds you of them. You may have to move and start a new life, but if that's what it takes, then it's worth is. Chester will rest in peace.
-Dr. Phil
I know that you can help my situation as you have helped many others. My dog is very old and will die soon. I am very upset that my dog will no longer be with me because I have had Chester since he was a puppy and I got him on my tenth birthday. I need your words of encouragement.
Thanks.
-the dog owner.
Dear dog owner,
Dogs are a waste of time. You need to get a cat. If the myths are true and they are, cats have nine lives. Also, there are many positives to pets dying. You can save million of dollars by not buying dog food for your pet. Americans year after year go into debt because they care more for their dog than for themselves. It is best for everyone in this situation to just let the dog go. Sooner or later your dog will die, sooner or later you will die. Death is ironically a natural part of life. Look at this situation from and experts point of view.
-your friend, Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil
As I said before I watched Chester grow up. I understand poor Chester will die soon, but I need closure for my beloved best friend. I'll never let go of him! Never! Dr. Phil can you help me. I am in mental and emotional agony from the soon loss of my best friend, Chester. I can't even sleep without him. I need some inspiration. I need something to take my mind off of things. Should I get a new dog to fill the void in my heart. Help me Dr. Phil.
Dear Mr. Dog Owner,
You need to take control of the situation and put the animal down now. You clearly have too much of a mental and emotional attachment that the attachment has even become physical now. If your dog is your best friend, that should be a red flag in your life. You are not a dog you are a human being, and you need real friends that talk and can interact with you. From and experts stand point you need to get rid of pets all together and anything that reminds you of them. You may have to move and start a new life, but if that's what it takes, then it's worth is. Chester will rest in peace.
-Dr. Phil
Dr Phil vs. the girlfriend
Dear Dr. Phil,
I am wanting to move in with my boyfriend as soon as I can but my parents won't let me. I am 22 years old but they still think I am too young to have a serious relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Dr. Phil is there anything you can do?
-the girlfriend
Dear The Girlfriend,
You need to get your priorities straight. Your family relationship is more important than a mere acutance. Relationships are a waste of time. You and your boyfriend will more than likely break up within the next three months based on statistic, but your family will always be there for you. Your mother has an attachment to you. She gave birth to you. Did your boyfriend do that? Of course he did not. You will put your mother in a state of grief. You have to understand that boys will come and go. You need to take control of the situation and stay home.
-the expert.
Dr. Phil,
I am having a hard time understand your life advice. My boyfriend of four years means the world to me, I can not imagine a day on this earth without him. Dr. Phil haven't you ever been in love before, don't you remember what it is like to be young. I have a life too, my parents are trying to keep me home for the rest of my life.
-the angry girlfriend
Dear The ANGRY Girlfriend,
You are much too impulsive to live alone. And how do your know that you can trust this boy? Have you checked his criminal background, he may even have a fake ID! I am diagnosing you, you are clinically crazy. You need to go to a mental institution because you are obsessed with a man you have no future with. You are going to be a stalker in your thirties if you keep up this life style and behavior pattern. I see it all the time, you are not the first girlfriend I have dealt with. Ladies at home, stay away from men, you can ask anyone they are all the same. Miss girlfriend, you need help, your problems are beyond me and I am an expert.
-the professional.
I am wanting to move in with my boyfriend as soon as I can but my parents won't let me. I am 22 years old but they still think I am too young to have a serious relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Dr. Phil is there anything you can do?
-the girlfriend
Dear The Girlfriend,
You need to get your priorities straight. Your family relationship is more important than a mere acutance. Relationships are a waste of time. You and your boyfriend will more than likely break up within the next three months based on statistic, but your family will always be there for you. Your mother has an attachment to you. She gave birth to you. Did your boyfriend do that? Of course he did not. You will put your mother in a state of grief. You have to understand that boys will come and go. You need to take control of the situation and stay home.
-the expert.
Dr. Phil,
I am having a hard time understand your life advice. My boyfriend of four years means the world to me, I can not imagine a day on this earth without him. Dr. Phil haven't you ever been in love before, don't you remember what it is like to be young. I have a life too, my parents are trying to keep me home for the rest of my life.
-the angry girlfriend
Dear The ANGRY Girlfriend,
You are much too impulsive to live alone. And how do your know that you can trust this boy? Have you checked his criminal background, he may even have a fake ID! I am diagnosing you, you are clinically crazy. You need to go to a mental institution because you are obsessed with a man you have no future with. You are going to be a stalker in your thirties if you keep up this life style and behavior pattern. I see it all the time, you are not the first girlfriend I have dealt with. Ladies at home, stay away from men, you can ask anyone they are all the same. Miss girlfriend, you need help, your problems are beyond me and I am an expert.
-the professional.
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