Dear Dr. Phil,
I have a problem. I know in my heart that I am obsessed with eating glue. I don't just eat Elmer's glue, no sir I go all out. I eat gorilla glue, bear glue, zebra glue, super glue, extra-super glue, tacky glue, hot glue guns, glue sticks, but not paste. Is there any hope for me!
@gluelady
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
There is no hope for you at all. You are a disgrace to society. What will your children think? If you don't stop now the chemicals from all that glue will get into your body so bad that it will deteriorate you intestines. Is that what you want for yourself? Do you want to be on the street corner with a card board sign saying, "Family in need, support my glue addiction." Ma'am that is what this is, this is an addiction. You need to go to rehab to get yourself fixed, and it's not just for you, it's for your family as well. Take control of you life.
Dr. Phil,
You do not understand, you say you do, but you don't. I need glue. I want glue. But sir, I am not addicted to glue, thank you very much. You call yourself an expert so why am I addicted to glue? And I don't even have kids. I just eat glue because when I was in school I got hungry, that's it! Now I have plenty of food from Wal-Mart, why do I still eat glue?
@gluelady.
Dear Mrs. Glue Lady,
You see Mrs. Glue, that is never an acceptable outlet for the real problems you have! This glue phase does not fool me. Your glue eating habit is just a cover up for all the pain you truly feel inside! You eat glue because you find yourself in a sticky situation. Your problems are sticky your life is sticky, your tears are sticky so you eat something sticky and it's just not right. You need to do something about this before it's too late. Stop eating glue.
-The expert
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