Dr. Phil vs. the dog owner

Dear Dr. Phil,
I know that you can help my situation as you have helped many others. My dog is very old and will die soon. I am very upset that my dog will no longer be with me because I have had Chester since he was a puppy and I got him on my tenth birthday. I need your words of encouragement.
Thanks.
-the dog owner.

Dear dog owner,
Dogs are a waste of time. You need to get a cat. If the myths are true and they are, cats have nine lives. Also, there are many positives to pets dying. You can save million of dollars by not buying dog food for your pet. Americans year after year go into debt because they care more for their dog than for themselves. It is best for everyone in this situation to just let the dog go. Sooner or later your dog will die, sooner or later you will die. Death is ironically a natural part of life. Look at this situation from and experts point of view.
-your friend, Dr. Phil



Dr. Phil
As I said before I watched Chester grow up. I understand poor Chester will die soon, but I need closure for my beloved best friend. I'll never let go of him! Never! Dr. Phil can you help me. I am in mental and emotional agony from the soon loss of my best friend, Chester. I can't even sleep without him. I need some inspiration. I need something to take my mind off of things. Should I get a new dog to fill the void in my heart. Help me Dr. Phil.

Dear Mr. Dog Owner,
You need to take control of the situation and put the animal down now. You clearly have too much of a mental and emotional attachment that the attachment has even become physical now. If your dog is your best friend, that should be a red flag in your life. You are not a dog you are a human being, and you need real friends that talk and can interact with you. From and experts stand point you need to get rid of pets all together and anything that reminds you of them. You may have to move and start a new life, but if that's what it takes, then it's worth is. Chester will rest in peace.
-Dr. Phil